Had Barry been president that fateful day, the radio address would have sounded something like this:
"My fellow Americans. Today is a day that will live in infamy. Kamikaze pilots viciously, and without warning, attacked the Pacific Fleet at our base in Hawaii. Make no mistake. This heinous act had nothing to do with Japan. The Japanese people are peaceful. These pilots were radicalized kamikazes led by someone who calls himself Admiral Yamamoto, and in no way reflect the values of Japan.
"I have spoken with Emperor Hirohito by phone and assured him that we are not at war with his country. To that end, I have just signed a trade agreement that will allow our two countries to exchange goods and services to our mutual benefit.
"My opponents will say this agreement amounts to surrendering to a war-like act. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is imperative that we keep the lines of communication open, despite what those on the right may believe.
"We must not allow a few bad actors to pervert the goals of the Japanese people. Though the perpetrators of this unconscionable assault flew under the flag of Japan, they were in no way Japanese.
"Good night, and God bless America."