I will never, ever understand. I have tried, for 36 years, and I will never be able to wrap my mind around it.
While I am soaking up as much information as possible in hopes of finding some way of contributing to the end of the current danger we face, I have been hop-scotching through history, piecing together how various genocides against the Jews have occurred. Of course, Jews are not the current target, at least not yet. It is the Kurds, but in my research I found there are many similarities in their histories, which likely explains their alliance with one another.
Tonight I am reviewing the movie, "Nuremberg", because the immediate priority I have in my studies is to understand the mentality of the Islamic State, and in so doing I must, as much as is humanly possible, put myself inside al-Baghdadi's head. So, I have been reviewing the Caliphates, etc., and that study has taken me to the Farhud, the Inquisition, and the Crusades, to name a few.
My journey with Israel began when I learned of the Holocaust. At first, I just shook my head. I could not understand any of it. Believe it or not, it was not the horror of the Nazis that astonished me, although as I delved more deeply into their sicknesses my revulsion was immeasurable. No, the thing that struck me first was how the Jews could so resignedly go to their deaths. They just accepted their fate. Aside from the Warsaw Ghetto uprising, I found no evidence that these individuals wanted to live. I find myself in that same place tonight, as I am listening to the letter written to the Nuremberg court regarding the genocide of thousands of Jews in Ukraine. Men, women, and children, standing silently, waiting for their instructions, following those instructions, lying down calmly in the pit on top of the thousand or so who were already dead or dying, and waiting to be shot.
Waiting to be shot.
Perhaps it is my military upbringing. Perhaps it is my own time in the military. Perhaps it is the life that I have lived. All I know is I do not understand how anyone, knowing he or she is about to die, simply stands there and waits for it. These many decades later, I find myself every bit as frustrated as the first day I ever heard of the Holocaust.
This post may ramble, and for that I apologize, which is why I entitled it Venting. I was raised with the philosophy that, if I am about to die, and there is no other way out, to at least take someone with me. (My father was a Master Chief. Enough said.) I have watched scores of videos from the Holocaust. I have watched hundreds of Jews lined up alongside ditches, obediently awaiting their machine gun bullets. I have read, because the Nazis recorded everything with great pride, about how the Jews, while in the "showers", were singing. Singing. Singing about their Messiah, saying, "...though He be delayed, I still believe". My God. What led such a great people to such passivity?
Jews, from the beginning of history, have been blamed for everything from bad crop seasons, to "killing" Jesus, to the Black Plague, to the "genocide" of the "Palestinians"; I am surprised that they have not yet been blamed for "global warming", although that is probably next. Where is the resentment? Where is the anger? Where is the outrage? Where is the fight to survive?
Yes, I am gratified to see modern day Israel. It gives me great comfort. In fact, it was my study of Israel that ultimately led me to Judaism. But, I can never hear of the countless atrocities perpetrated against the Jews without the same rage rising up within me. When Israel feels called by HaShem to fight, she is glorious. Jonathan wiped out the Philistines at Michmach in a grand fashion that was repeated in World War I after a British officer read the account in his Bible and decided to replicate it. In fact, America's special forces train with Israel's elite. We all recognize the incredible talent Israel has. So, why is it that so many times they have been overcome with resignation. Depression? Some misplaced sense that this is HaShem's Will? That if they pray hard enough HaShem will rescue them in due time? Where are the descendants of David?
I do not understand.
I find myself wanting to scream at the screen, GET UP AND FIGHT, DAMN IT!
None of this is to be misconstrued. I do not blame the Jews for the insane hatred to which they are subjected. I am learning about politics through the course of this. I have always loathed politics, so I never really took the time to study it, but I am learning that politics has been integral in every single atrocity ever committed in the history of mankind. So, I know that, when a given people are deemed to be a threat to the powers that be, genocide is the result, although Jews are the brunt of such evil more so than any other group in recorded history.
Anyway, perhaps at the end of this journey I will be able to make peace with history. I do not know. For now, I am confounded. My love for Israel has never been stronger, and it grows with every day. Alongside my frustration and rage, I feel a deeply-rooted need to defend her and to fight for her. I am gratified to see she is fighting as well. Live on, Zion.
Am Yisrael Chai.